It’s true — our brains might not be functioning at max capacity right now with all the stress, the homeschooling, and the NOT-KNOWING while we anxiously wait for the Disney Parks to reopen!
That’s why not ALL our ideas have been…well, GREAT lately! And if you’ve ever wanted to catch a rare glimpse into our team’s creative process before, we’re yanking back the curtain for you today! Welcome to our warehouse of failed pitches…and BROKEN DREAMS!
As a team, we often spitball ideas off each other to get our creative juices flowin’! But lately, our riffin’ has been turning out some strange material! These concepts just DIDN’T make the final cut, but we think maybe if your brains have gone a little soft lately, too, you might get a chuckle out of some of these title flops!
First up, we’ll never know the ending to this exciting cliffhanger:
“You Made Us Miss ROPE DROP!!!!” Will This Marriage Survive?
And it looks like we won’t be teaching any highly advanced cooking lessons with this piece (maybe we should learn to boil water first?):
Grab your Candy Thermometers, Marble Slabs, and Bain-Maries! We’re Making These 8 Pros-Only Disney Recipes!
While this one seemed a little too anti-Maurice for our liking!
Belle’s Dad and Other Disheveled Disney Characters We’re Strongly Identifying With Now That We Desperately Need a Haircut
One of our writers seemed to lose track of where they were for a moment with this next one:
Is there a FastPass for this Ride? No? It’s my Couch? Sorry.
And while this idea would have been a good one to write, we’re still searching for someone who’s actually been to the NBA Experience in Disney Springs (anyone??)!
One in a Million — We’re Sitting Down with the Only Person Who’s Ever Been to the NBA Experience in THIS Exclusive Interview!
This title idea kinda made it sound like we had a drinking problem:
12 Disney Drinks to Make It Feel Like 5 o’Clock When You No Longer Have Any Concept of Time
And this one sounded like we’d be asking A LOT from our family pets:
10 Magical Ways To Disney-fy Your Dog Using Nothing But Dental Floss and Uncooked Pasta!
We couldn’t commune with Madame Leota to get the 411 on this title:
Stories to Tell in the Dark: Could Haunted Mansion Actually Be Haunted?
And although our interests were piqued to see this writer’s mailman, we couldn’t get him to pose for a side-by-side comparison. 😉
Does My Grocery Delivery Guy Look Like a Young Walt Disney (Or is it Just in My Head)?
This one sounded a little mean-spirited (though after isolating this long we totally get it):
How To Break Up With Your Boyfriend Like A Disney Princess
And this idea could’ve come to fruition if we could actually ride some attractions and show you our hairdos before and after. Just kidding!
How’s My Hair? These 12 Disney World Rides are Better Than a Trip to the Salon!
This title hit a little too close to home:
How to Quickly Lose That “Quarantine 15” Just in Time to Gain It All Back on Your Next Disney World Vacation!
And here’s another idea we had for when you’re so worn out at Disney World that you can’t even work your jaw!
The 8 Best Snacks to Enjoy at Disney World When You’re Too Tired to Chew!
Maybe we were thinking too much about self-help books we’ve been reading during this crisis:
The 7 Habits of Disney World’s Highly Effective Pork Dishes!
And also financial advice books:
Rich Disney Dad, Poor Disney Dad — How to Curb Your Family’s Vacation Spending!
Yep, we were sensing a deeper underlying meaning in some of our word choices:
7 Deep Breathing Exercises to Keep You From Becoming a Complete Lunatic on Your Next Disney World Trip
And having so much free time on our hands to reorganize and reprioritize our lives has made us face some difficult-to-accept realities:
How Much Room in Your Closet SHOULD YOU Allocate to your Disney Parkhopping Wardrobe?
We’re not accredited in any way to offer this medical advice, but we would in a heartbeat if we were licensed practitioners!
DFB Confirms What Doctors Have Long Suspected: Disney World IS the Cure We’re All Looking For!
And we’d be lying if we didn’t say we were speaking with some experience and authority with this idea for a title, which probably wouldn’t be the best message to send people about our dietary habits:
6 Easy Solutions For When Your Pants No Longer Button at Disney World
Ditto this one:
How to Navigate the Challenging Impasse of Wanting to Eat More Mickey Pretzels but Being Physically Unable to Eat More Mickey pretzels
And even though we’re a little bit desperate right now and looking for an escape, face tattoos probably isn’t the right answer:
12 Incredible Disney Sidekick Tattoos We Want to Get On Our Faces So We’ll Never Be Lonely Again
And of course, this ever-popular Disney Character Buffet article:
Grab Your Pitchforks and Wheelbarrows! We’re Going to Our 3 Favorite Disney World Buffets!
And last but not least:
Make Mine Extra Dry and Salty! 15 Disney World Snacks That Will Leave You Super THIRSTY!
So yeah, no great losses there, but hopefully you had some fun reading titles from our reject pile this week! Here at DFB, we try to be entertaining AND informative — it’s a tricky balance we’re always strivin’ to get just right with you guys! 🙂 Let us know if you enjoyed us expelling our bad title ideas and who knows? Maybe we’ll share some other ones down the road?
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Are there any titles you’d actually like to see written from the ones we listed above? Let us know which ones you think would make an entertaining article (if massaged a bit!) in the comments below!