Now that we’re all up to speed, we gotta have some real talk here. The Skyliner stranded guests mid-air for 3 hours. It has remained closed since Saturday evening and Disney has released a statement about the incident, but there’s one thing we still just can’t get off our minds. Those emergency kits!
A couple hours into the “situation,” guests reported hearing over the speakers in their gondolas that they could now open their emergency kits under their seats. Um…1) SRSLY there are EMERGENCY KITS?! then 2) GIMME!!! WHAT THE WHAT is in there?? Water? Blankets? Stale Mickey pretzels?? Our eyes were glued to Instagram waiting to see what the elusive kits contained! And the result??
Well here’s a look inside the emergency kit on the #Skyliner. We were just told we could open it. There’s water inside, a note pad, cups (possibly in case nature calls), light stick … hitting 90+ min @WaltDisneyWorld @WFTV pic.twitter.com/3xyvrHGyUO
— Cierra Putman WFTV (@CPutman_WFTV) October 6, 2019
Weeeeell…not exactly going to be saving lives with these kits! They contained a few packets of drinking water, cool packs, a pencil and notepad (that ironically was labeled “Universal”…oh Disney.), a whistle, a glow stick, and a few blue cups. (Yes.)
There’s got to be a better way! No snacks? No way to keep warm? No toilet paper??!!! (For real guys…if nature calls, even stuck in mid-air…you’re not gonna want to be scrambling to find that old guide map in your pocket out of desperation!)
What would we have done better? Include a rope for lasso-ing the pizza from the delivery guy on the ground after we order some pies for the hungry gondola? A folding ladder so we could all, awkwardly, try descending to safety in the night? A parachute (do those even work that low?!)?
We pulled together our ideas and came up with what WE would want to find in our kits if we were stuck in the Skyliner for 3 hours:
The “OMG I’m stuck 60 Feet in the Air” De-Stress Kit
We don’t know about you, but if we were cruising the skies to Epcot and suddenly found ourselves dangling for who-knows-how-long from an oversized telephone line with no help in sight, the anxiety is gonna get REAL up in that gondola!
One complaint we saw from many guests stuck on the Skyliner was the LOUD recorded message apologizing for the delay playing every minute or so the entire. time. Nope. We’ve got a solution for that.
- iPod and Headphones with super-zen nature sounds: No more scary loudspeaker messages. Instead, sway in the air to the calming sounds of a babbling brook or ocean waves. Aaaaahhhhhh.
- Lavender-scented de-stress aromatherapy lotion: Align your chakras with calming scents.
- Earplugs to further find tranquility in the skies.
- A soothing eye mask provided by Disney to help the terrifying reality that you’re dangling in a giant Christmas ornament melt away!
Yeah…we know. Dare to dream.
The “I’m Stuck in a Box With My Kid(s) For How Long?!” Emergency Kit
We can’t imagine being stuck dangling for 3 hours with a child on the Skyliner. Kids at Disney World are already easily overstimulated, overly tired, sugared-up, and just generally maxed out! If you’ve been anywhere with a kiddo in tow, you likely know all too well the shiver down your spine when you hear those 4 dreaded words: “I gotta go potty!”
So how would we suggest Disney help those frazzled parents? An emergency “In case of angry toddler, break glass” type option!
- Food (Duh. Kids are tiny always-hungry vacuums.) like Fruit Loops, granola bars, fruit roll-ups, or crackers.
- A board game option would be well received (nothing says “We’re gonna be ok on the Skyliner” like watching your 4-year-old stomp and shake the dangling gondola because they didn’t win at Candy Land!).
- Coloring Books and crayons are always a hit with the younger set, so long as the crayons weren’t subjected to that famous Florida heat and morphed into one melted mega-crayon.
- An emergency iPad with unlimited youTube access. Welcome to Ryan Toys Review.
- And headphones, obviously. Because you’re stressed out enough and you do NOT need to hear “Baby Shark” for the 100th time trapped in a tiny metal box!
- A blankey is in your kit to wrap up your kiddo and pray sleep comes quickly if all else fails!
Maybe it’ll take the edge off?
The Adult Coping Survival Kit
If you’re more worried about the BIG kids in your gondola, or maybe you were just forced to make some new Disney BFFs in the Skyliner for 3 hours, you’ll want a proper way to cope.
- Emergency Disney issued OTC Painkillers for that tension headache you’ve surely developed by now.
- Booze. Obvi. Emergency vodka or wine for the over 21 crowd brings the party to the skyliner.
- DVD player complete with all 10 seasons of Friends or The West Wing. How thoughtful, Disney!
- Snacks! Each kit will come stocked with plenty of Arendelle Aqua Wintery Whoopie Pies for each guest! (Haha j/k — you though that was a real thing for a second, didn’t you!? Sorry, but there ARE about 2000 other Arendelle Aqua snacks still around the parks if you’re interested!)
Ok, in all seriousness what happened on the Skyliner was horrible. We can’t imagine being stranded in the air for that long with no communication or end in sight. In all truthfulness, what was REALLY missing from the emergency kits?
The Real, Legit, “Here’s What We Need In The Skyliner Emergency Kits, Disney” Emergency Kit
- Food and Water. There was no food in there! Slip a few granola bars or protein bars or dried fruit in the box, Disney!
- Portable fans. Thankfully the malfunction happened in the evening and it’s Fall, but could you imagine if it was mid-day in the dead of summer?! HOT and nasty in the Skyliner, guys. Cooling packs won’t get you that far. Small, battery-powered fans seem like a better solution.
- Batteries. See above.
- Small handwarmers for more chilly days. Each gondola DOES have a small heater, but handwarmers couldn’t hurt.
- Emergency blankets. You know those weirdly cool mylar blankets? They fold to practically nothing and seem like an easy add.
- Crank chargers and smartphone charging cords.
- A diaper and wipes for smaller kids in your group. The adults could certainly use the wipes as well, seeing as no one mentioned actual toilet paper in those kits! Plus, messes happen even in the skies, so having wet wipes on hand could save a lot of headaches.
- A better bathroom solution. This is certainly the dark side of the Skyliner no one wants to talk about. Those blue-lipped cups found in the kits are the same kind issued by Disney’s First Aid Centers if your tummy is in distress. They hold a lot of liquids quite well, but most people don’t want to consider using them when they plan that once in a lifetime Disney trip!
Give us a second. I’m sure we’ll think of more.
Also, please please don’t go stealing emergency kits now that we all know they’re there. You wouldn’t want to be stuck up there and find NOTHING under your seat in an emergency, so just be cool.
Oh, and what’s in YOUR kit??
Join the DFB Newsletter to get all the breaking news right in your inbox! Click here to Subscribe!
Will you be nervous to ride the Skyliner when it reopens? What would you have included in the kits? Let us know in the comments!