Look, we go to Disney World every day — and even though there’s always something to see and do, we can’t help but let our minds wander.

Spaceship Earth

What are we going to have for dinner tonight? What is the meaning of life? What are the little German villagers up to in EPCOT’s tiny train town up to today? It’s questions like these that keep us up at night, but luckily, we got the answer to at least one of them on a recent trip to the parks… and it doesn’t look good.

Disney World is a pretty safe place, but that doesn’t mean that sketchy dealings don’t go down on the daily. One part of EPCOT, in particular, tends to be raucous, rowdy, and rife with crime on any given day. To the untrained eye, the Germany Pavilion’s Model Train Village (which we will now refer to as the Tiny Train Town) may seem like an idyllic, mountainside locale, but if you look closely things start to look a little… off.

What’s going on here?

Take this scene, for instance. It appears as though one resident has possibly had a bit too much to drink — or is there foul play afoot? There are children nearby, which makes us think that either this dude partied a little too hard during the Food & Wine Festival or he has been the victim of a crime! The people nearby don’t seem too phased, though, so maybe this is a normal occurrence for him.

Sir? Are you alright?

And these bridge dwellers seem to have suffered a similar fate. This lamp post has accidentally fallen over — or was it pushed? Maybe someone tampered with the integrity of the footings, causing it to fall over at just the right time. Our friends over on the right appear to be pretty cozy, perhaps we’ve uncovered a torrid love affair and a scorned ex has decided to get his revenge!

These poor people

This guy just barely made it out alive. He looks pretty shifty — what’s he hiding in his trenchcoat? Is that Gore-Tex? Was he in the wrong place at the wrong time or did he get too close to his mark? We have so many questions.

He barely made it out alive

A giant mushroom appears to have popped up in the village overnight, which leads us to believe that this was not just a random natural disaster that took place. Instead, we have suspicions that something far more sinister has taken place here. Is the Tiny Train Town the target of some sort of organized attack? Is this mushroom actually a biochemical weapon? Where did it come from and who put it here? We are immediately placing a call to the Bundesnachrichtendienst and Interpol to let them know of our findings.

Is this a biochemical attack?

But, what’s this? A suspicious-looking man lurking in the distance? He seems to be alone and looks disheveled…as though he’s had to move around quickly while engaging in covert operations. Perhaps placing some sort of… mushroom-shaped biochemical weapon IN PLAIN SIGHT?! Yet there he stands, watching. Taking it all in — all the damage he has inflicted on these poor people. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM THE TINY TRAIN PEOPLE, SIR?

Don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious

Or, we’re totally off-base and the Tiny Train Town just partied a little too hard again. Either way, you can count on us to let you know the latest happenings in this village.

Stay tuned to DFB for more news from EPCOT’s tiny train village and the rest of Disney World!

Check Out More Happenings from EPCOT’s Tiny Train Town

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Who do you think is responsible for this chaos? Tell us in the comments!