By now, you’ve probably given in to the sheer torment of not knowing who everyone on your Zoom calls is talking about and binge-watched Netflix’s Tiger King.
AND IF you’ve succumbed to peer-pressure and subjected yourself to this seven-episode docu-series (we’re impressed you were able to get through the first 15 minutes!), you’re probably still feeling a little loopy from the absurdity of everything you’ve just seen! We’re talkin’ tigers, lost appendages, missing husbands, and a lot of questionable judgment and fashion statements! While everyone may have their own opinion about the show, it definitely caught everyone’s attention for how bizarre and memorable it is.
At least, we know we’re still reeling a bit from the show which is why we’ve decided to cast each Tiger King star as a Disney World theme park ride.
Carole Baskin’s Late Husband
C’mon… you didn’t think we were going to lead off with Joe Exotic??? We’re saving him for the END! But we think Carole Baskin’s late husband who mysteriously vanished without a trace would best be played by Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride — especially because it too has disappeared from Disney World! We wonder if it had anything to do with being covered in sardine oil?
As for tigress Carole herself (who we find to be NEITHER a cool cat or kitten), she reminds us of The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. At first, she seems sweet, but the deeper in you go, things start to go all CRAY with heffalumps and woozles and INSANITY! Plus, Winnie the Pooh was the reason that Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride had to “disappear” from the parks, so we’ll leave it to you to draw your own conclusions there, (see above)! 😉
Jeff Lowe doesn’t bust onto the scene until much later in the show, but this Affliction t-shirt wearing bad boy in a bandana is putting off some major rocker vibes! We think Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith would be his jam — no offense Steven Tyler! He’s just in a big hurry to take over the G.W. Park and he certainly takes Joe Exotic for one wild ride!
Which brings us to JOE! We’re a little conflicted when it comes to choosing an attraction that best represents Joe Exotic. While Jungle Cruise or the Enchanted Tiki Room seems a little too on the nose (and waaaay too innocent), we’re also not ones to pick the fruit of the lowest branch. We’d have to say Mission: SPACE is more Joe’s speed. And we’re talking about the old Orange Mission, BEFORE they tamed it down. This ride used to whip us around like ragdolls, and we always walked away from it feeling violently ill. See the correlation?
Tiger King is probs one of the most cringe-worthy can’t-look-away shows we’ve seen in a while. And that’s why we’re found ourselves binge-watching! Did you binge the show too?! Which rides or even characters do you associate with the show? Let us know!
Join the DFB Newsletter to get all the breaking news right in your inbox! Click here to Subscribe!
Which people on Tiger King do you associate with which rides at Disney World? Tell us in the comments below!