If you love rides at Disney World as much as we do, then you might start to come up with cute nicknames and silly descriptions for your favs. For instance, Tower of Terror is the elevator ride that turns your stomach into Jell-O. See? It’s fun!
Here at DFB, we like to have fun with Disney rides, so we came up with new slogans for attractions in the parks, and we CAN’T. STOP. LAUGHING.
All four Disney World parks have their fan-favorite rides and attractions, which are not only thrilling and fun, but conjure different memories and ideas! And by “ideas,” we mean creative alternate slogans that Disney should definitely consider using.
So while we were thinking about some of the parks’ most, umm, unique rides, we decided to whip up some apt slogans to describe them! Not to brag, but these are perfect. And perfectly hilarious! 😉 Let’s embark on a journey of imagination, shall we?
Have you ever thought to yourself, “Gee, I wish I could feel completely dizzy and disoriented right now,” then we’ve got JUST the ride for you! For anyone who’s ever been on Mission Space at EPCOT, you know it could easily be renamed “Motion Sickness: The Ride!”
Test Track is one of the most popular adrenaline-pumping rides at Disney World…and ONLY at Disney World. That’s why “You’ll Love It If You’ve Never Been to Disneyland!” would be fitting.
Soarin’ is another beloved staple at EPCOT, but we all know what it’s really about. “Come For the Smells, Stay for the Floppy Eiffel Tower!”
Living With the Land isn’t exactly known for its high-octane thrills. It’s really more of an educational float trip, like “it’s a small world”, but with organic produce instead of children. An appropriate slogan might be “Fruit: The Ride (We Have Fish Too!)”
For anyone who’s stopped at the Canada Pavilion lately, you might recognize a couple voices from a familiar TV show narrating Canada Far and Wide. Or as we like to refer to it: “As Close As You’ll Get to Schitts Creek in a Disney Park.”
Did you remember there is another film at World Showcase? No? That’s why “You Forgot We Were Here. It’s ok. It happens” should be the subtitle for the China Pavilion film.
In order to truly get the full cinematic experience at EPCOT, we can’t leave without stopping to watch the Earth movie, Awesome Planet. The name is a bit of a misnomer, though. Might we suggest “Come Feel Bad About Being a Human!”
Few rides at Disney World are more notorious than Dinosaur. Between the pitch-black whiplash and the terrifying carnivores lunging towards us, this doesn’t exactly feel like the MOST magical experience at Animal Kingdom. Let’s try “LOL Good Luck Sleeping Tonight Kids!” That checks out.
There’s a lot we could say about Expedition Everest. For instance, why are there more hair bands than Yetis? At this point, it’s basically a running joke that the ride’s resident Yeti isn’t getting fixed any time soon. So “Stop Asking About the Yeti” would be a good slogan for this one.
Kali River Rapids can be a refreshing romp through white water on a scorching summer day. It can also be retitled “A Great Way to Look Like You Peed Your Pants!”
Space Mountain is fun because after you’ve zipped around at high velocity through utter darkness, and gotten sufficiently dazed, you then have the exciting opportunity of attempting to find the exit through a labyrinthine hallway! Space Mountain, aka “Good Luck Getting Out!”
Listen, Winnie the Pooh is iconic and beloved, and his namesake ride at Magic Kingdom is a spectacle of cuteness. But we need to address the Heffalump in the room: The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh has BIG shoes to fill, and they just don’t fit right. “Yeah, You Gave Up Mr. Toad For This.”
In a park filled with iconic attractions like Splash Mountain and The Haunted Mansion, there’s inevitably gotta be one snoozer. We’re looking at you, Hall of Presidents. No offense to democracy, but this thing has “Welcome, Grandparents!” written ALL. OVER. IT.
Disney’s Hollywood Studios
The Tower of Terror! Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster! Slinky Dog Dash! Rise of the Resistance! There are SO MANY exciting rides to experience at Disney’s Hollywood Studios! And then there’s Alien Swirling Saucers, which feels like one giant, colorful shrug. It’s not bad. It’s not great. It’s “Eh, It’ll Do.”
Honestly, we could do on and on with these slogans! Whether educating us about cabbage or hurdling us through a dinosaur-infested dystopia, we’re cracking ourselves up with alternate slogans for these Disney rides!
Join the DFB Newsletter to get all the breaking news right in your inbox! Click here to Subscribe!
What are your ideas for great Disney ride slogans? Let us know in the comments!